The notion of presence has kept my mind busy lately. It circulates around each part of my life. It impacts the way I relate to God, my students, my girlfriend, my best friends, my family, etc.
What does it mean to relate to a God who is wholly other, but has manifested himself present in the logos made flesh?
What impact does my mere presence have on my students?
Is there a qualitative aspect to how I am present with my girlfriend? Or does it only matter that I am with her?
Do my friends care what we are doing together, or is it simple enough that we are hanging out together?
A professor of mine recently shattered some perceptions I have carried about time vs. quality time.
He said the distinction does not exist.
Especially to kids. He said his children couldn’t distinguish between quality time and time, they simply wanted time with their father. In the same manner his wife was not concerned with what they spent their time doing but was satisfied they were just spending it together.
I think there is some validity to his assertions. I am sure there are exceptions to the rule as there are times we remember more than others in our lifetime as being of a higher quality. However, I don’t think that fact alone presupposes the notion that all time spent must be of a certain quality to communicate the idea of a presence that makes a difference. Some of my fondest memories of childhood involve just hanging out with my dad. It’s not that we always did awesome things. I mean sometimes, he would hangout with me while I played with my army men. Actually, sometimes, he would steal my soldiers and start building a base that was by far more superior to mine. Perhaps the notion of presence in interpersonal relationships between spouses or dating relationships simply means communicating you care for one another enough to just be there. To find time to be present in each others lives.
This is certainly true for the closest of friendships. Especially in times of suffering. The only thing I really remember experiencing, besides grief, when a dear friend of mine died were the people who were present with me. I don’t remember what they said. I just remember they were there.
I wonder what this means for how I involve myself in the lives of students. I often wonder, “what difference am I making in this student’s life by just hanging out with him/her?” Does my presence alone speak volumes of the love of Christ?
I am finding more and more that being there, being present, with people through suffering, joy, pain, heartbreak, and loss is the ultimate display of the incarnation.
John 1.14 – the word became flesh – brings hope as God breaks into our world through the person of Christ. He is the manifestation of God-with-us [presence]. As we seek to be more like him we might do well to pay attention to the kind of impact our presence alone can have on the people we love and serve.